2, Two, Yes, 2 Days to Go!!!!

It's so hard to believe that I'll actually arrive at NEADS in two days, meet Tippy in three!!! It's hard to believe because I was told it could take as long as 12-18 months before the right match could be found....and, I had resigned myself to that fact. I think my mind is still thinking that it's only been 4-5 months and I've got a while to go. My heart, however, is confused as hell!

Yesterday I was at the Rhode Island State House in Providence. I was there for the INvisible Project, www.invisibleproject.org. and the US Pain Foundation, www.uspainfoundation.org. Paul Gileno, US Pain Foundation President; Bill, and his wife Sue; Ellen and her service dog Maggie, and Karin and Lucky, her service dog, were all there as well. So, to make a short story long.....I watched Karin and Ellen with their dogs. I watched and remembered what it's like to have that companionship, support, and unconditional love. It's only been a little over 4 months, but it seems like an eternity. The INvisible Project was set up outside the Senate and Assembly, and we were sitting alongside it. I watched the dogs watch their partners, and, I watched Ellen and Karin watch their partners. I wanted to be them.....is that selfish? I'm not sure, nor, am I sure I care. But, this is where the confusion comes in. I pictured myself with Tippy, a dog I've not even met yet. I also pictured Alli. Not with me, but with Elizabeth and Andy. Happy. Content. Exactly where she is meant to be, with the people she is meant to be with. Thinking about it makes me cry, but it's good. I think. I think it means that I really am ready to move on. I think it means that I won't feel guilty about that move.

So, I think....no, I know I'm ready to accept Tippy. When I was asked at NEADS the day of Alli's final test and diagnosis, if I would be ready to accept another dog if one was found sooner rather than later I wasn't exactly sure what that meant. Now I do. I had to be ready to see Alli where she is and know it was the right decision. I had to be ready to love another dog as much as I love Alli and not feel bad about it.

I'm there! I'm looking forward to Sunday and meeting my classmate. And even more, I am sooooo looking forward to Monday when I'll finally get to meet Tippy! The really cool thing is that this time I have all these additional friends who I've met through NEADS who are excited for me as well!!!! It's neat because they've all gone through this experience, or have been the ones to bring the teams together in one way or another, and truly know how exciting this is for someone to go through. It's kind of like starting in a classroom full of supporters and finding yourself in the auditorium with everyone cheering you on! It's the reason that since Alli and I graduated I've been to all the rest of the graduations except one. The emotions are contagious. It's like a natural "high"....that feeling that you can't do anything wrong. The feeling that you don't want to go away. It carries you through almost anything. And, it's always there.

That's the care, support, and warmth one finds at NEADS.

Peace,
Wendy

www.neads.org