"Moving On, and on, and on........

Here is Alli....just where she is meant to be......with Elizabeth and Andy. I used to say that service dogs are Labs - 25% of the time, and Service Dogs - 75%......and Alli always had that reversed!!!! That was okay with me, as that's pretty much my % of seriousness as well. Don't get me wrong, she is an AMAZING service dog,......just a better Lab!! Had she not begun to lose her vision, she would have continued on as a much loved and much appreciated service dog and companion. But....all things considered, she is doing what she was meant to do.....be a devoted Lab for a family who loves her just as much as I do...... I always say things happen for a reason, and there is a reason for her blindness, and her return to Elizabeth and Andy.......

Having said that, aside from the occasional update on Alli's progress in life, I am now going to change the name of the blog one more time to "Looking Forward". I don't want to dwell on what was or could have been. I also need to be able to look to the future to a time when another service dog will be matched with me and together we will begin a new chapter in our lives.

On that subject, I need to remark on the NEADS Graduation this past Sunday, the 13th. Whether a client or not, I cannot think of anything I would rather do on a Sunday afternoon than watch more than 20 individuals with their service dogs get recognized for becoming partners, or better yet, a team. Their lives are enhanced almost immediately upon meeting each other. I say this, because the dogs lives, too, are enhanced for arriving at their new forever home where their unconditional love is appreciated and multiplied unto them. Watching them, I know if it hasn't happened already, the team will soon become "one". Anticipating each other's needs and being there for one another at all times......good and bad...... I also love watching the pups-in-training as they meander through the throngs of human and canine bodies, ever vigilant for what their Weedend Puppy Raiser (WPR)asks of them. The proud faces of the WPR are priceless. They welcome the opportunity to tell the pup's name and "just how amazing he/she is" at everything they do! This is just one of the elements that makes the WPR aspect of the dogs' training successful. I sooooo love looking at all the dogs with the blue vests(training colors) and wondering......could that pup someday grow up to "partner" with me?

I have been asked so many times if I have heard anything about my new dog......to this I answer, "No, and I don't expect to for at least 12 to 18 months." The answer is often "Really?" and I am quick to reply, "NEADS did such a great job matching me with Alli that I am more than ready to be patient and let them do what they do best.....put great teams together......being careful to match personalities and the clients' needs." Enough said! Perfection is always worth waiting for!

Also at graduation, were several "Wounded Warriors". While they all received service dogs, a few have dogs who are also trained as "Trauma Alert" dogs. What a WONDERFUL program! These Trauma Alert dogs are matched with individuals with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, (PTSD). The dogs are trained to recognize when an "episode" is imminent and the client is trained to work with the dog to recognize, and hopefully ease the severity of the episode, by comforting one another through it. It's amazing what our canine companions can do for us, all the while offering their unconditional love. This in itself is priceless for the deaf, disabled, socially withdrawn or returning combat veteran with a disability whether physical or emotional.

Until next time,
Wendy

It's Not Always Easy to Look Forward.........

My daughter called me shortly after the snow began last Saturday, October 29, 2011. She said she was blaming it all on me! When I asked why, she said that I always wish for snow so it was my fault that we got it so early. I assured her that while I LOVE SNOW, there was no way in hell I would wish for it this early in the season!!!!!

I took some time and thought about it......... I tried to think ahead to the winter and the snow we will receive at an appropriate time. The last two winters, I had Alli as my partner in crime. I am minus that partner and am not looking forward to the snowy weather for maybe the first time in my life! Having spent the first 9 years of my life in up state New York, I have always loved the look, the quiet hush and the feel of the snow. But this year's different. This year just doesn't feel like it has. I think it's because the last several years before Alli I hadn't been going out and enjoying the winter in all it's beauty. But Alli got me out, rolling in the snow, laughing and taking pictures of that amazing girl running in the heavenly white stuff.

We were very lucky during this storm. Our lights blinked quite a few times, sometimes lasting 30 seconds to nearly a minute. Apparently the rest of the neighborhood down the road from us were without power until sometime Wednesday or Thursday. We live at the top/end of a series of hills rising up from Main Street in Ivoryton. Our power, however, comes up the dirt road on our property from the opposite direction. The lines are also underground. We usually don't lose power unless a "substation" is out. I am very much afraid of the dark. Always have been, and probably always will be. Alli gave me strength and courage to get through anything! I'm finding out that even though Alli is no longer with me that strength and courage continues.

I'm trying to move forward, though it's not that easy. I don't imagine anyone thought it would be. US Pain Foundation has asked me to be a "point person" for New England. This is exactly what I need. While it will be easier once I get my new dog, I will be able to start my "duties" right away. It will entail attending summits, conferences, workshops and meetings covering a wide range of topics and how they relate to chronic pain survivors. Insurance concerns are a major aspect as insurance companies become more aware of the pain community and it's strength through sheer numbers. Two weeks ago I testified before a committee in Massachusetts concerning their S 422. This is extremely similar to HB 1083 which we worked on this past spring and Gov. Malloy signed into law in August. They are bills that will prevent patients from failing on insurance approved medications for pain before approving the prescription the patient's doctor originally wrote. This causes a delay in appropriate pain management, and takes the medical decision out of the patient's doctors' hands. I also have a summit coming up this week and a workshop the following week. I enjoy being actively involved in areas that I am interested in. I look forward to this new challenge. I know when I get my new dog it will be easier for me to head out daily without the fear of falling and needing others to help me.

This last week has been difficult health wise. While I've been having headaches regularly since Alli left, this last week has been particularly tough. I've had 2 relatively severe migraines that left me weak, tired, nauseous, and not able to see much. I am hoping that my next dog will become as "in tune" with me as Alli was. I hope that he/she will come to know when I'm going to have a migraine. I realize that there's no guarantee that that will happen but I really hope it does. That has been one of the most amazing things for me. I had very few migraines since Alli was able to let me know so I could head it off before it struck.

If you don't already do it, I would strongly suggest that you go to the NEADS site, neads.org and check it out. And.....if you click on the blog, you can see the "Cute Puppy" pictures that are posted Monday through Friday. It's kind of neat to wonder if any of these pups might grow into my service dog.........just a thought! The site also has information on the Prison Pup Program, a calendar of events and an application for anyone who feels the need for a service or hearing dog.

While at BJ's last weekend, I met Angus. Angus is a 6 month old black lab who is in training for Guiding Eyes. I had a brief conversation with the "retired" couple who had him and we talked a little about the eyes of a lab and how they just cause you to melt........ Angus was adorable, but I did quite well....so my daughter told me! I only shed a few tears when as we were loading the car I saw Angus and his "folks" leaving. I have such wonderful memories of Alli and all she did for me....both physically and emotionally. But, I also have wonderful memories of Alli with her new family from meeting Elizabeth at a "meet and greet" during my training to the day Alli went to live with them. Though I was parting from her, her excitement at seeing Elizabeth and Andy is actually a happy memory for me. And the pictures and brief video I've seen of Alli since shows me that she continues to be the happiest most personable dog there is. And, I say this while I continue to chuckle at her antics!

I now feel I can move forward....with the occasional look back..........

Peace,
Wendy

The "In Between Place"........

Okay, so I've started this post 3 different times and just can't come up with the words that do justice for Alli. Who would ever think that a dog could leave such a void for words? Anyone who has ever had a service dog for a partner knows!!! A very special person put a post on "Facebook" about a service dog being "just a dog" to some people. I'd like to thank Alexis for posting it and copy it below. It helps me speak from my heart about Alli. She may be a "goof", but she was also a great and talented service dog!

I have found that while it has been a week, I am still "doing fine" as far as losing Alli. Let me rephrase that.......I didn't lose her, I offered her the opportunity to have a wonderful life despite the fact that within the year she will in all probably be completely blind. I won't belabor the point about how Alli deserved the best and was fortunate to get it. But, while I am doing fine, it is with sporadic periods of sadness intermingled with new experiences. It is those new experiences that actually bring on the weeping. It's kind of different to face each new day ready to meet it head on and suddenly realize that when you look down to discuss it with your "partner", she's not there. You have to either keep it to yourself, or speak out loud to no one!
It's also been difficult as I continue to struggle with my health. I am not someone who can stay down and I'm having to lay on my bed without talking or moving to avoid the chronic cough. I am still using the nebulizer a minimum of 4 times/day, was put back up on some prednesone and am taking my codeine 3 times every day. If I so much as mess with any of this protocol I spend a good deal of time coughing. I have a feeling I've fractured a couple of ribs, knowing that I did last year, and feeling almost the same but actually with more pain. The last 22 months I have had Alli to "whine" to. I almost never complain to any human company, and Alli was always a safe bet since she couldn't tell others how I feel. I find myself crying a bit more during my coughing "jags" as it's my only outlet and while I'm crying I tell Mark, "I can't do too much more of this!" I hate letting others know I'm hurting!!!!! Alli would also automatically stretch out and lay alongside me whenever I got down......of course I'd get a big "kiss" first!!! And then, there's the loneliness factor. I really feel alone with Al gone, I worry when I start to trip, when I get a headache out of the blue and I think....."Alli probably would have told me it was coming", I worry that it could be another migraine/mild stroke. I've already lost a small bit of change since I won't even try to bend to pick it up in public and I don't have my partner to "go for it"!

I had originally thought that it would be best if another dog wasn't found for me right away. Now, knowing that Alli is all squared away, I can think of myself and I'm feeling that the sooner the better. Not to replace Al by any means, but I now know what a service dog can do for me both physically as well as emotionally. I really think that I could accept another dog at any point now. It's kind of neat. While I find myself in the familiar position of waiting for "that call", I also feel that I'm in a very unique position. I know the NEADS family now, I totally understand the process, and I have the benefit of looking at the pups in training and sizing them up knowing what my needs are and the needs/requirements of my dog. Ever since I got Alli, I have continued to go to the NEADS website daily to check out anything new, and to follow the clients on the list. I now also go to the NEADS Blog daily to see the daily "Cute Puppy" pictures. It's neat to see them as small puppies and wonder if any of them could be the one to be my new dog in 12-13 months. I also enjoy looking at the pics on the blogs from the various fundraisers and NEADS events. I enjoy going to these events, and meeting the dogs in training that are brought by their "Weekend Puppy Raiser" (This is what Elizabeth was to Alli, a wonderful position but tough to give up the pup I would imagine) to socialize and experience new situations.

In any case, I now find myself in a period of transition. Below is the quote I mentioned above:

"From time to time, people tell me, “lighten up, it’s just a dog”, or, “that’s a lot of money for just a dog”. They don’t understand the distance traveled, the time spent, or the costs involved for “just a dog”. Some of my proudest moments have come about with “just a dog”. Many hours have passed and my only company was “just a dog”, but I did not once feel slighted. Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by “just a dog” and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of “just a dog” gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day. If you, too, think it’s “just a dog”, then you will probably understand phases like “just a friend”, “just a sunrise”, or “just a promise”. “Just a dog” brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy. “Just a dog” brings out the compassion and patience that makes me a better person. Because of “just a dog” I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future. So for me and folks like me, it’s not “just a dog” but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment. “Just a dog” brings out what’s good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day. I hope that someday they can understand that it’s not “just a dog” but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being “just a human.” So the next time you hear the phrase “just a dog”, just smile, because they “just don’t understand”.~ Sue Downes"

So, while I am in transition, I find that I'm actually in the "In Between Place". For better or worse, that's where I am......I will make it a better place......

A place of Hope and Promise.......

Peace,

Wendy

A New Beginning......for Both of Us......

This is how I'd like to remember Alli.....goofy! Someone at the US Pain Foundation's "Triumph Over Pain-Run, Walk or Roll" asked me how Alli helps me up from falls. So I crouched down.....with some difficulty. Alli looked hard at me as she's not used to me going down so slowly.....it's usually a quick fall. I looked at her and asked if she were going to help or give me a kiss....guess which she chose!?!? Of course, then she helped. A two for one deal!!!!

All in all, I think Saturday probably went better than I had expected. I think I was aware of every moment as it passed nearing the "10:00 departure". It even started the night before. Alli is such a snuggler, but this time I really think she knew it had to be for keeps. In the morning, she was loving, goofy, and just plain Alli. I was up and dressed, as usual, before Debbie awoke. When she did, she asked Alli if she were going to get her up.....that's one of Alli's favorite things. To be asked to wake someone up is probably on her list of top 10 favorites. She ran over to Debbie, looked at me, and when I said "go ahead", she jumped on to the bed and nudged Deb. When Debbie started to laugh, Alli stretched out along side her and then onto her back.....as always for the tummy rub!!!! Alli knows how to always make it about her, but without you knowing it because you, too, are getting so much love out of the deal!! At our house on Prudence Island, Debbie's granddaughter loves to have me tell Alli to "nudge" the bedroom door open first and then tell her to get Liv and Deb up.

Alli was very well behaved on Saturday.....until.....she saw Elizabeth and Andy approaching. I saw them coming down from the upper parking lot before Alli and came out from behind the table I was sitting at. As soon as we came around the banners Alli saw them as well. Right away she began to whine, cry, and pull. I must say it made my heart sink for a moment but rebounded right away knowing that these people have always received this response from Alli. This is exactly what I wanted for Alli. How obvious that she feels so good, so loved when she is in their company.

I took time to explain what I was bringing to send with Alli. Probably too many toys, and I only brought the ones that she plays with regularly! She is sooooo like one of my pre-k kids. She just needs time to mature a bit......like a lifetime!!!!! I'm sure many will be replaced with new ones, as they should. She should be able to make new memories with new toys. There are several that were really special to Alli. One was "Rex", just a stuffy that she often liked to pull under her chin like a pillow of sorts. Another is this really silly round ball, bright green.....with feet! It's the dumbest looking think that we always called "squeaker". She loved running from one end of the house to the other just squeaking! Alli always looked to get it after we practiced our skills, whether in Fellowship Hall at church, or out in our calder-sac. I tried to keep it as an inside toy just so she would have it longer, but she absolutely loved running with it.

I took quite a few pictures and had others use my camera to get pictures of all of us. I can't believe the last pictures we took of Alli show her in a "t-shirt"!!!!!! I NEVER put clothes on pets! I can't stand it unless it's a hairless dog or cat that requires it for warmth or sun protection. I was getting a "Triumph Over Pain....." shirt for myself, and the woman actually insisted that she had one that would fit Alli. So, not knowing how to say "No", I put one on Alli backwards so that the "walk" logo would show above the edge of her vest. Then, after I removed the vest, the "Service Dog" tag and my medication vial from Alli's collar I forgot to take the shirt off. Unfortunately none of us thought of taking it off until Alli was leaving and I kind of called over to them to please take the t-shirt off. Oh, well, at least I'll continue to smirk when I look at those pictures and see Alli putting up with it all. She's such a trooper!!!!

When I kissed Alli good-bye, and hugged and kissed Elizabeth and Andy I knew I was about to lose it so I had to walk away. Debbie walked to their car with them. She said that as they walked, Alli kind of looked back at me, forward toward their car, and did this several times before getting into the car. She stood a moment before laying down and then, that was it.

I said in an e-mail to a close friend concerned for me, as well as on Facebook, that having to give Alli up on Saturday was both the hardest thing I've ever had to do and the most fulfilling. I know that making sure Alli went to the right family was paramount. I had to give up one of the most important beings in my life. One who has made my life so fulfilling once again when I thought it could never be that way. But, life goes on, and as hard as it is to think this way, there will be another "partner" for me. Not another Alli, but another service dog that will be just as loving, just as helpful and will make my life just as fulfilling. Alli taught me that everything is possible if you have the assistance and the belief that you can achieve anything. She also taught me that I needed to make sure that I return that love in kind. It seems to me that making sure that she is in a loving home, with a loving family who is ready willing and able to see her through her blindness is the best way I can return that love. And, one way or another, we'll both move on....

Below is a picture of the most amazing couple I've ever met,
and Alli is blessed to be part of their family.

Andy and Elizabeth Meritt Harkness
and Alli
9/24/2011

LAST PLAY-DATE!!!!!!!

On Tuesday, September 20, 2011 Alli and I got together with Ellen and Maggie, and Karin and Lucky. It was to be the last play-date for the pups. They had a wonderful time! Actually, I'm not sure who needed it more, Alli, or me. Yes, I do. I needed it. I needed to be able to touch base where it all began. I only wish Eddie could have been there too. It feels a little odd. When we get together next, Ellen mentioned when she gets back from surgery in WI November 20th, I will not have Alli. I'll be in a type of "limbo". It will also be difficult, because we met are dogs on November 9, 2009, and finished our training on the 20th. It will be 2 years to the day.

While at Ellen's.......it was a great afternoon......as always, we talked about just about everything there is to talk about. Our trials, tribulations, health.....etc. We talked about the past, the weekend coming up for Alli's departure, and the future. I started wondering....... When a dog is found for me, it could be 12-18 mos., I will go for my 2 weeks of training again. So, between wondering what the dog will be like, I also find myself wondering what my classmates will be like. The four of us really lucked out that first time. We just seemed to hit it off right off the bat. We have completely different personalities, different disabilities/illnesses, different backgrounds, but we just sort of "got" each other. Eddie and I even took turns playing the "straight man" to each other's humor. We all found it relatively easy to talk to each other on our "down" time. I now find myself in the familiar territory of uncertainty. While I usually hav no trouble getting along with people I've just met, I dread new situations just the same. That's something Alli has really helped me with. While NEADS provides "social" dogs for children with autism and other disabilities; Alli has been not only my service dog but my social dog as well. I have entered more social situations and participated in more conversations since receiving her. I never would have spoken to legislators without her by my side. So, now it's like starting over. It will be a new social situation when I go for my training, and it will begin without a dog beside me. What will the group be like. Will we function as a group or as individuals? I know it's still a very long way off, but this is what I do.

The time we spent together on Tuesday reminded me of how important it is to have support. And not just any support, but the support of those who have traveled the same road. While Karin did have Lucky returned to her after his illness, and thank God Maggie hasn't had to deal with anything which would take her away from Ellen, they know what these dogs mean to us. They understand what it's all about. I'm still not sure how I'll handle it. I know I want a picture of Alli walking away with Elizabeth and Andy. It will be the closure I need.

I don't think I'm quite done here, but I can't stop coughing and I keep feeling like I'm suffocating.
In any case, I'll end here,
Wish us luck on Saturday,
Peace,
Wendy & Alli

Alli's Church Family Says "Farewell" Through Worship

Here is Pastor Ken Peterkin, Ken, saying a prayer for Alli's and my future. Our church family has been so supportive and welcoming of Alli's presence in my life and in the life of the church. It seemed only fitting when he said that he would like to send her off in worship. Much like when our Adults and Youth are sent off on a mission trip through worship. It was quite difficult when he asked me to explain how we find ourselves in this position, and what it means for Alli's future and where I go from here.


As you can see, Alli is very comfortable with Ken. She just played with his Golden Retriever, Augie, a couple of weeks ago. They swam at the pond by the Dog "Paw" Park. Alli swam, ran, rolled(in the sand, yuck!), ran some more, swam and then we left. She will probably get a lot more exercise with Elizabeth and Andy. I make sure she gets enough, but man, she can run. Alli is also sooo comfortable when she's in church. She loves the music of the organ and the choirs and I think she really enjoys the down time as well. It was interesting today, I thought, that for the first time since she's been coming to church she didn't sleep. She usually tends to fall asleep shortly after church begins and even when there's a change in tempo or it's quiet she seems to know exactly when church is over and when it's a "false alarm"! I really think she is sensing that something is changing. Whether she is being bothered by noticing that her vision is changing, or if I'm unknowingly "telegraphing" her upcoming departure, I'm not sure. Alli has also started to drool a bit again. If you remember from my earliest posts, when we first met, she drooled a lot! It even prompted me to carry my red "Alli-Rag" wherever we went. It seemed, though, that once she knew she was "home" she stopped. After that she really only drooled when she knew a meal or snack was coming. I really haven't been aware of any major changes in my behavior that would set her off. We still snuggle nightly, she gets her massage and tummy rub nightly as well, and we really seem to be keeping the status quo. I know that you can't count on your pets not picking up signs in your behavior. I used to tell parents that if anything is going on at home you better believe that your child knows a lot more than you think they do. No matter how quiet you whisper, discussions when you think they're sleeping, or even hand signals, the kids always know what's up. I'm really hoping Alli hasn't sensed that things are as bad as they seem. In fact, things are not so bleak. I truly believe that Alli is going to have the most wonderful life.

Now, while I keep saying that she is going to have a wonderful life, it's most definitely going to be hard as hell to watch Alli walk away from me for the last time. I think it's great that we're parting ways at the "Triumph Over Pain: Run, Walk, or Roll" event. I think it would be so much harder if I had to say good bye from either my house or the NEADS campus. It's always difficult to leave her at the groomer......and she's only gone for 2 1/2 - 3 hours! The groomers are great, they all love Alli, and yet it's like sending your child off to their first day of kindergarten each time. I may be able to get through the separation initially, but it will really hit me by the 3rd hour.......of course I'll probably be sobbing for the first 3 hours anyway! Thank God my friend is going with me so she can drive home......coincidentally a 3 hour drive. She even offered to get a room at a hotel the night before the US Pain Foundation event so we're not having to drive 6 hours in one day on top of the emotional factor. I'm also trying to look ahead to when it's just me. I won't have a reason to get up at 7:00am.......no one will be sneaking up alongside me in bed and tapping my legs with their paws to let me know it's time for breakfast. There won't be a wet nose sitting by the kennel at 2:00pm waiting for her "chew"(rawhide square). When my Mark comes home from work @ 5:00pm, 4 paws won't go racing through the house to the front door and a quick about face to get to the kennel for dinner. Every time I stand during the day there won't be a warm body against mine waiting to help at a seconds' notice. There won't be someone eagerly waiting to go outside to earn treats for a job well done practicing. There won't be a big puppy head, head-butting me when one of my migraines/mild strokes is coming to make sure I take my med......and not letting up until I take my pill w/water. And, there won't be a pair of gorgeous eyes looking up at me when I'm sad, confused, or crying to let me know that everything will be okay, and then licking my face and ears until I say "I'm okay".

There are a lot of things that won't be there any more. But now it's time for me to add new things in their place. Alli will be having new experiences and I, too, need to be able to accept new experiences and, eventually a new dog. I need to begin to allow myself to move on even while still in the grieving process. I've allowed myself to grieve since Alli's first visit to Tufts in May, heck, I think I began a bit sooner than that. I knew something was changing, something wasn't quite right even before May, I just wasn't sure what it could be. I am very good at compartmentalizing anything that can be overtaxing. I think that's how I've been able to stay relatively logical in my views of our situation. Allowing myself all this time to grieve has also allowed me to begin to move through the grief to the "other side". Knowing that this is not a "death sentence" for Alli, but another chapter in her life story, or act in her play, has made the grieving process kinder and gentler for me as I know she will go on being "Alli" for a long time. Now, I need to go on being "Wendy", hopefully for a long time as well. Knowing that she will have pleasant experiences allows me to look to the future in hopes of such experiences for me as well.

I think I've mentioned how Harry Chapin's song "Circle" seems so fitting in our lives right now. The first verse, "It seems like I've been here before........", obviously fits especially for Alli and Elizabeth and Andy. It also seems to fit with where I find myself now as well. The end of the first verse, "there's no straight lines make up my life, And all my roads have bends, There's no clear cut beginning, And so far no big ends", has always seemed to me to be the story of my life. I can't imagine a life/road without bends. I imagine it would seem to be a stagnant one. I much prefer the bends, you never know what's around the next one. It's the adventure that takes you there and the experience one grows through. The second verse, "I've found you a thousand times, I guess you've done the same.......""......as I find you here again a thought runs through my mind, Our love is like a circle, let's go 'round one more time" seems to be speaking directly to Alli's relationship with Elizabeth and Andy. And then, there's the chorus. "All my life's a circle..." It always seems you end up where you started but with a lot more experience to handle the next go-round.

I only hope that I've absorbed the knowledge and experience that was meant for me and that is what will carry me into and through this next chapter........I love a good read!!!!!

Peace,
Wendy & Alli

Friends, Old and New and Support.......

Today was a wonderful day. I hadn't expected it to be, but yet, there it was. It was so easy being among others with a love for dogs and all they can do to help their human partners. I knew that this would be one of the last events that Alli and I would attend together and expected it to be difficult seeing all the "teams". It was, however, just the opposite! I felt so much support for both Alli and myself that I think "Indian Ranch" is just where we were meant to be today. I don't believe everyone from NEADS who was there today knows what Alli is going through and I did not speak about it except with those who are aware. Today, we were just a team there to help represent NEADS the best we could. And, what a dynamite team we are! Alli of course is Alli to a fault....she does so well, and just when you think she's going to be calm, she has to give a little jump and "kiss" whoever is petting or talking to her. Most of the time the people love it, most give a little chuckle, and Alli looks at me out of the corner of her eye as if to say...."okay, I sneaked that one in"! She does know, when to toe the line. As we walked around, we were stopped often and asked what type of service dog she is, what special skills she has, asked many questions about NEADS in general, etc. And, of course, she had her picture taken so many times. Everyone falls in love with her at first sight......and they love her little "prance" walk. So, today we were just a normal team, and if felt good. It felt good to be at an event where we could just set aside our problems for a few hours and be there for others. This is how Alli was meant to spend the first part of her career. She thrives on it and puts a smile on everyone's face. No one can help but reach out to pet her. At one point, while we were sitting on the wall listening to the Charlie Daniels Band, and older woman reached out and pet Alli as she sat against me. Shortly afterward, I noticed that her hand was down just petting behind Alli's ear and the woman had such a look of contentment on her face. I'm not sure she realized at that point that she was even petting Alli. That's what Alli is all about. Letting you know she is there for you in whatever capacity you may need her. Even if you're not sure what you need, Alli seems to.

Those that do know about Alli's vision problem are so supportive. They wish us well, tell us to keep each other safe, and even share moments we've had which bring a tear to their eye. Messages from friends, thank you Alexis, Bee, Ellen, Karin, John......etc.......help to keep me focused. It's kind of like when a family member or close friend loses someone close to them I often say that I hope that knowing they touched so many lives in such a positive or powerful way brings them a sense of peace. This I'm feeling myself through the words of others. Alli has such a way of making an impression on others.......I think always in a positive(if not comical)way......I already have that sense of peace one looks for. Alli is not being lost. She's actually being found. She is blessed to be able to be found for another purpose. Whether that purpose is just to add some enjoyment and enlightenment to the lives of Elizabeth and Andy, or if through this experience she is just meant to "chill", one can't say but I'm certain she will make the most out of it. She will also continue to make others smile, laugh, even the occasional "guffaw" just by being Alli.

While NEADS calls their "non-graduates", "fabulous flunkies", Alli is not a "flunkie" by any means. So I like to think of her as what a trainer from FIDELCO told me they call their "non-graduates"......."change of career dogs"......so, Alli is merely changing her career........

Peace,
Wendy & Alli